Living with cancer
Believing that cancer is not a death sentence and focusing on living well can help you deal with the illness.
With treatment, many patients go on to live long fruitful lives. Unlike other illnesses though, treatment can be long-drawn. Cancer patients will also need to have regular check-ups – for the rest of their lives.
If you have or had cancer, it’s likely you’ll begin noticing every slight ache or illness, and even a little pain may cause you to worry.
However, while it’s natural for both cancer patients and survivors to think about dying, it’s even more important to focus on living.
From the diagnosis
Finding out that you have cancer is difficult. Within minutes of your diagnosis, and then over the next few hours, days and even months, you’re likely to go through a roller-coaster of emotions from denial and anger, to sadness, guilt and loneliness. These feelings are normal.
At the same time, it also is important to remain hopeful as it can be an important component in your battle with the disease.
Know your cancer
You can regain hope, confidence and control by learning more the disease.
- Ask your doctor or nurse as many questions as you can:
- What cancer do you have? Where did it start? Has it spread?
- Is it regarded as slow-growing or aggressive?
- What are the available treatment options, the cost and success rate of each treatment and what side effects should you expect?
- Don’t feel bad about getting a second opinion, it’s a very reasonable thing to do.
- Bring someone with you when speaking to the doctor - in your emotional state, it can be hard to absorb what you’re told.
- Read up as much as you can about your type of cancer on the Internet or in the library.
- Find and join a cancer support group.
Be honest with family and friends
Recognise that cancer changes not just your life but also the lives of those around you. Routines will have to change, and your roles and duties may be affected too. Be prepared that relationships with friends and family can be strained but they may also be strengthened.
It’s important to accept that you’ll need lots of help with daily routines and errands and well-meaning friends and family are a godsend. However, at times their good intentions may also overwhelm as they crowd and fuss or be overly enthusiastic about sharing their “research” and advice.
Either way, sharing your feelings honestly with those close to you will draw you closer to them than if you shut them out. Talking often also helps you cope with your own feelings about having cancer.
Dealing with a new ‘look’
Cancer and its treatment affects how you feel about yourself. Be prepared for physical changes in your body and looks, and that your sex life and self-esteem may be at an all-time low.
You may have to cope with losing your hair from chemotherapy or radiotherapy, losing a breast if you have breast cancer, losing or putting on weight due to the drugs taken and more. These changes can be hard to accept but most patients find that, with time, they are able to develop a new self-image by staying actively involved in life and talking openly about the changes with those around them.
Living each day
Finally, remember that living with cancer means not just looking at death in a new way. It also prompts you to think about how you want to live the rest of your life. While it’s tempting to go all out and simply indulge in all the fun things in life, living a full life also requires taking care of daily duties and returning to some normalcy.
In fact, many cancer patients and survivors have shared that living each day to the full means that they stay involved in both the obligations and pleasures of daily life, that they’re able to return to work if possible. Most of all, they participate in making plans for the future – for themselves and their loved ones.
